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| I hate being here, back in this town. Everything I do, and everywhere I go makes me think about Dave. How epically ridiculous is that. I don't want to remember our relationship, especially not when we were in Greenville, because before, when we were up here, before he started going down to Augusta in March, everything was great. We were happy together, and we lived in the cutest house with Tony and Rachel. We were happy, and clean.
Then Augusta happened.
Oh well.
For the last week I keep having this dream about being pregnant. Its quite lame, and I'm quite against this dream, because in it, Joey's the father, and I'm spending my time trying to make sure Joey doesn't know the kid exists, but its actually not that hard, just a little bit of secrecy.
But aside from that, everything is great, and it all works out and I have the best kid ever.
I don't like the dream though, mostly cause its making me paranoid, I'm not supposed to bleed for another week. I'm tempted to stop taking the pills just to make it happen sooner, thats how paranoid these dreams are making me. Doesn't help that my friend just got pregnant while taking the pill.
Uckkk. Ten days and counting<3
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| so. fucking. bored.
I'd kill for some bud.
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| Almost a year ago I made this xanga.
At the time, I was just moving to Augusta, just starting to seriously fuck up my life.
Since then, I've been arrested twice, seriously fucked over by three guys, and screwed by a roommate, found all the wrong friends, and drugs, fired from a job once, gone through three jobs, found my one true friend, started to pierce people, and thought I had my life getting together while working in a tattoo shop, was wrong, ended up arrested again, with the possibility of actual jail time, put my trust in all the wrong people.
And finally, and most importantly, learned the only person I can trust is myself.
So now its time to straighten everything out.
So today, I get a drivers license in South Carolina.
And I try to find a job. And most def have a job by the 4th for the court and all that shit.
and apparently realize life can be fun when you're sober?
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| It amazes me that I keep doing it because every time I do I'm sick for days and days after.
Shot up the other day, now I'm suffering
This is fucking unacceptable.
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| Heroin makes me sick lately.
So I'm laying around vomiting like crazy.
And my head feels like it's going to explode.
I think I've got some coke still thought.
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